Why You Need to Practice Self Control, Not Just Your Customers

March 11, 2015
Business Skills

According to TalentSmart, a service that trains companies to be more emotionally intelligent, the upper echelons of top performers are filled (90 percent) with people who are high in emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence doesn’t guarantee success, but as a retail RD hoping to excel and advance in your career, it’s a collection of skills you want to be aware of.

What makes up emotional intelligence (EQ)? When emotional intelligence first appeared to the masses in ‘95, it served as the missing link in a peculiar finding: people with average IQs outperform those with the highest IQs 70 percent of the time. This anomaly threw a massive wrench into what many people had always assumed was the sole source of success, IQ. Decades of research now point to EQ as the critical factor that sets star performers apart from the rest of the pack. One of the main requirements of EQ is self-control—a skill that allows productivity by keeping you focused and on track, according to TalentSmart.

As RDs know with their clients and customers, self-control is not an easy skill to master. In fact, most people don’t think they are very good at it. And when it comes to self-control, it’s so easy to focus on our failures and not our wins. According to TalentSmart, here are four top traits and behaviors those with a high EQ practice on a daily basis.

Forgiving. It’s critical that when you think you’ve made a mistake, that you forgive yourself and move on. Dwelling on the issue can lead you down a path of more destructive behaviors. It’s also important not to ignore how the mistake makes you feel; but take that experience, learn, focus on the positive ahead and move on.

Perfection is not the goal. Similar to being forgiving, focusing on perfection is an unrealistic target. We’re all human. And being focused on perfection amplifies mistakes, leaving the door wide open for negative self talk, and there is no reason to dwell on these issues. Instead, learn from the experience and focus on the positives you've achieved and look to the future.

Solution Focused. We all know the types, those who are focused on solutions and those who like to dwell and complain. Perfectly stated by Dr. Travis Bradberry, Co-founder of TalentSmart, “When you fixate on the problems that you’re facing, you create and prolong negative emotions, which hinder self-control. When you focus on the actions you'll take to better yourself and your circumstances, you create a sense of personal efficacy that produces positive emotions and improves performance.” Those with a high EQ don’t dwell on problems because they know they’re most effective when they focus on solutions.

Positivity. Positive thoughts facilitate self-control by refocusing your brain’s attention towards rewards. Think about it. When things are going well, you’ll be in a good mood and self-control is easier. When things are going poorly, all that goes out the window. In order to stay on track, practice bringing a positive thought into your mind. This will profoundly change the way you feel. This shift will improve productivity.

Cultivating these skills and strategies takes time to master, like any new healthy habit you are helping your clients achieve. So give yourself the same chance to practice, learn, and move forward. Not only will being a more emotionally intelligent person help you rise up in your career, it will help you connect with your customers and clients on a deeper level, bringing more success to the partnership.